there's something more behind that smile

A'levels verification slip.
Will I make it?

The ambivalency of life and where it is leading me to, is killing me.
This run is so tiring...
Can I surrender?

No, I can't
You know I hate this

Because I can't bear to disappoint people who put high hopes on me, especially my parents and my gran.
This is so difficult.
Running away from its oppressive grasps doesn't seem to be such a good idea.
I know I need to keep my grip, somehow, I must do it.
Yet the irony, lies in me - not knowing how to pull myself through this disaster.

I need to cry.
I am sad...
Where're you?